It took me awhile to get into it, but now I'm hooked. In fact, because my job bores me so much, I spend more time on Myspace than actually "working." Sad, but true.
Anyways, while I was still working at my university, my work study student said I should sign up for Facebook. I did, but I couldn't really get into it. I just didn't see what the appeal was and that stupid list of things that people write on other people's page always bothered me. It was voyeurism to the extreme. Thus, trouble.
A little bit of backstory. The Aussie and I broke up after a year of dating back in March. He dumped me over the phone saying that he wasn't ready for that serious of a relationship. Nice, huh?
Anyways, we hadn't talked since. His best friend from Australia called me a couple of times trying to setup an international booty call, but I wasn't having it. What a sleezeball.
The Australian Sleezeball friend requested me about two months ago on Facebook. Since I really never go on there, I just pressed accept and was done with it. Mistake #1.
A month after that, the Australian Sleezeball emailed me asking me how I was, that I looked gorgeous and he wants to ravish my body, and did I hear that the Aussie was moving back home?
Hold up...what?!
The Aussie's birthday was a week away and I had been debating about emailing him to wish him a Happy Birthday. I had been over him a long time, but part of me always wishes that he would wake up one day, realize I was the best thing that ever happened to him, and come crawling back to me, where my response would be, "Are you kidding me?! Hell no!" I think everyone just wants to be wanted. So, I thought maybe a Happy Birthday email would be hurry things along to that realization.
Curlygirl: Hey Aussie, I just wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday. Hope life is treating you well!
P.S.- I hear you might be moving back to Australia?
The Aussie: Hi Curlygirl! Thanks for the birthday wishes. I was actually thinking about emailing you, but I wasn't sure if I should. I'm really glad you emailed me. Yes, it's true. I am moving back at the end of the month. I just decide that's where I want to settle down and be closer to my family and friends. How have you been?
Mistake #2 was writing him back.
Curlygirl: I've been really good. I'm getting ready to apply for grad school (wish me luck) and I'm still working at the Company. I'm also heading to Italy and Ireland after Christmas. Well, that's great to hear you're moving back. I'm sure your family and friends can't wait to have you home. How was your birthday?
The Aussie: Good luck with grad school. I decided to rent a bus to take 25 friends and I around to all the bars. It was such a great time! You should have been there, you would have loved it!
Yeah, I'm pretty happy about my decision. This was the best time to go back, but I will be coming back and forth for work a couple times a year. (blah, blah, blah).
Needless to say, I did not want to speak to him after that. Um..."I should have come?! You should have been there?!" Well, you didn't invite me jerkoff! (Note: not like I would have gone. I hate his friends and would rather walk on broken glass than to have to spend a couple hours on a booze bus with 25 alcoholics. Is anyone else surprised that this relationship was doomed? :-)
A couple of weeks later, he friend requested me on Facebook. I was hesitant, but my own morbid curiosity got the better of me and I accepted (Mistake #3). On his page, he had his arm wrapped around a girl with a horse face. I thought they were either friends or he was dating her. It didn't matter much to me either way. Maybe this time around we could both be adults and perhaps start a friendship. That thinking lasted 24 hours.
The next day, I signed onto Facebook (a record!). Low and behold, that stupid scroll thing got me in the end. The Aussie put down he was engaged! To Horseface Girl!!!! Underneath the picture of the two of them, he wrote, "Meet the lucky lady." Lucky my ass! Ran Horseface Girl, Run!!
My mouth dropped open as I was reading that. He breaks up with me only a couple months ago, citing that he's not ready for a commitment and he gets engaged right after me?! Wow, I feel just like Sally from When Harry Met Sally. You know, where she starts crying because the guy she was with for 6 YEARS up and marries his rebound relationship? Plus, she has curly hair.
I didn't cry. I wasn't sad. I was just angry! Jerk! I quickly deleted him and the Australian Sleezeball from Facebook and deleted all the emails that the Aussie ever sent me. I was holding onto them, because I liked looking back and seeing there was a time when a guy was truly infatuated with me. Now, I just consider that whole relationship a waste of time.
So, we have learned that:
1) Facebook gives nothing but bad news
2) Americans and Australians shouldn't have relationships nor can ever be friends (this is just in my case)
3) Meg Ryan and I rock the curly hair look
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