Friday, May 2, 2008

You Shy-a Devil You

Dear Shia,

If I ever see your parents, I'm totally going to give them a high-five. Well, I might slap them first for giving you a name that took me 2 months to finally be able to pronounce "right," but they definitely deserve a high five for the fine specimen you've become.

I mean, you went from this: 





To this:




Meow.



What? Don't believe me that you've gone from a caterpillar to a butterfly? Here's another one:


Mama needs a cold shower.


Honestly Shia, you're looking really good. I never thought you would have grown out of that Even Stevens stage... like EVER. You proved me wrong. Well done.

You're like a "normal" celebrity. You aren't going in and out of rehab like Lindsay Lohan and you aren't humping everything that moves like Paris Hilton. No, you just do really weird "normal" stuff that any American does: you get arrested for trespassing  in a Walgreens in Chicago while you were sober (allegedly). Even your screw ups are cute.

So Shia, I have a proposition for you. Leave the Hollywood life and come be my pool boy. You can tend to my (parent's) pool and I can watch you from the side, sipping a margarita, admiring the nice abs you acquired from working on the Indiana Jones movie. I might even let you have a sip of my drink, even though you're not 21 yet.


Oh crap.


I just looked on wikipedia... you're going to be 22 this year?! 


Well, that ruins my pool boy fantasy. 


Whatever... call me if you're ever in town.

 



5 comments:

Effortlessly Average said...

Personally I think the boy needs to pull up his pants. heh.

Still he'll always be Screech to me. What's that? That's not Screech? Eh, oh well.

Jeanna said...

SHIA IS SO DREAMMY!!
My roommate and I first saw him in that Disturbia movie and were drooling the whole time. We were convinced that he was 16, but were relieved to discover he was actually of age.
I heart Shia!

BV said...

Effortlessly Average: Pull his pants up?! Never!

20-something: Mmmm...swoon. He's totally going to be the reason I see my first Indiana Jones movie.

Effortlessly Average said...

Yep, and it's guys like that who keep men like me single. heh.

Anonymous said...

I stumbled upon your blog the other day, and this was the first post I read. I have to admit, I recently had a similar revelation (http://kittlekat.blogspot.com/2008/04/do-do-dododo.html), taking my cradle robbing to an extreme level. You are obviously not a lone cougar in this wilderness!