Future Prozac User

Bad parenting at its finest:

Ayúdeme!

The bro is graduating from college which means...I get to go shopping for a new dress! Whoo Hoo! I love excuses to spend ridiculous amounts of money on stuff I don't need. Therefore, I need your guys' opinion. What do you think about this dress?

OR

Tequila = Sin

I know this everytime I go out. Once I get tequila into my system, it over takes me and I end up making out with the closest guy that buys me a drink. This time it was a 21 year old. The poor boy never stood a chance. I think I was just grateful that he wasn't calling me ma'am.

So my friend, Softball Star and I, took the train into the Big City on Thursday night to get together with Softball Star's crush and his friends. We weren't planning on staying that late since the train doesn't run all night and we also knew that we had to get up for work in the morning. This is all our very responsible thought process while we were sober.

Then the tequila roared it's ugly head.

Softball Star wanted to calm her nerves with tequila and who am I to say no? I'm definitely a trooper when it comes to friendship, I tell you.

So, the drinks are flowing and the boys haven't shown up yet. I tell Softball Star that maybe we should mosey over to my favorite hotel bar to try a Bad Kitty (the poor thing has never had one before. Now, I don't think she'll ever have one again). Fast forward to 11:40pm (the last train was supposed to leave at midnight) and the boys finally show up. Softball Star pleads with me to stay and says that she'll pay for a taxi (about $75 minimum) to get back home. I wave her off and say that we'll figure it out later 'cause at this point, I'm already slammed and couldn't be bother with minuet details like "finding a way home." Pshhhhhhhh...

Softball Star's crush was flirting heavily with Softball Star, so I turned my attention onto his 21 year old roommate. Did I know he was 21 at this point? No. Did I know he was legal? Yes and I think that was the only detail I needed.

I believe I asked him whether or not he found me attractive (I know, where the heck do I get this mouth when I'm drunk?) and responded a nervous giggle (yes, he giggled) and said of course. Then I kissed him. At the bar. I was "that" girl.

Now, at this point, all I have for you are drunk flashes. Are you surprised? Probably not. That's how I roll.

Flash! Me in the backseat with the 21 year old kissing my neck and me trying to decide if Softball Star's crush was actually sober enough to drive (I hate myself for getting in the car with him).

Flash! Me losing my ring in front of their apartment and spending 15 minutes outside looking in the dark for it while using my cell phone as a light (The 21 year old found it).

Flash! Me in the 21 old year's bed (a twin, mind you), with him kissing me. I had to stop him though 'cause he wasn't "kissing right." I gave him some pointers, he picked up everything I said, and I high-fived him after he got it right. Yes, that's right. We high-fived. In bed. 

He was a eager beaver after that 'cause he wanted to know what else this wonderful, beautiful, sexy "older" woman he had in his bed could teach him. I looked into his eyes (there were about 4 of them at that point) and told him, "Sensei has had enough for tonight, My Child. You need to have all this information sink in before we continue."

Ha! I'm not that bitchy.

I just shook my head and rolled over (while trying not to fall off the twin) and fell asleep. I was certainly thinking the sensei part though...

The Next Morning...

Cue the massive hangover and confusion about not knowing where I was. I got my stuff, kissed the 21 year old goodbye, and raced downstairs to get Softball Star and her crush to go the the train station. The crush was not budging. So, I raced back upstairs, threw the sheets off of the 21 year old and ordered him out of bed 'cause he had to take us back to the train station. We were 45 minutes away from home. Ugh.

The 21 year old is definitely a southern gentleman and actually drove us all the way back to our town. The girl that gets him next is going to be very, very happy (I should also be thanked profusely for his kissing skills now. He better not forget them).

Thus, just another Curlygirl adventure with tequila. I was going to write about Curlyboy, but he pissed me off way too much last night. I'll write about him soon...

...and then there were Bad Kitties...

So, I think I'm still drunk from last night. Want to know how I know this? I've had to revise the last 2 sentences 8 times. Wait... now 9 times.  

Thus... you will have to wait until Monday to hear the story about Curlyboy and but to make it up to you, I'll even throw in what happened last night as an extra post, just for you 2 readers out there. I'll be waaaaay more sober on Monday.

....

....

....

Hopefully....

Phsssssss....

You know what that sound is folks?

No?

Alright, I'll tell you.

I'm not exactly sure how to correctly spell/make the sound of a tumbleweed blowing around, but I thought that was close enough. 

Brace yourself folks.....

...

....

....

I'm going through a dry spell and right now it's not pretty. 

I'm not even talking about JUST the sexual kind. I mean yeah, that's frustrating, but when I think back to all the Tools of my past...um, yeah, I'm good for now.

However, I feel like is I don't hook up with these Tools, I'm doing a disservice to you guys, all my 3 readers out there. As here's the really sad part: I won't have anything to blog about. Apparently I can't get my head out of the clouds and blog about something else besides my (lack thereof) dating life.

Therefore, I vow to tell you guys the story of Curlyboy tomorrow (I might have to put in more than 15 minutes of work here today).  There's wine, sake bombs, beer, Bad Kitty cocktails (yes, that's plural) + one guy friend that I never considered to hook up with = one rough hangover and quite the "oops!" moment when I woke up the next morning.

Good times.

You know you're bored at work when...

... you start watching the new Real World season on MTV.

It only goes downhill from here folks. 

Entertain me

I'm bored at work today (Girlie Monkey, I love how you're trying to be more productive and I'm aiming to be less productive) and I can't really think of anything to blog about. My life currently consists of work, school, and sleep. So, if anyone reads this thing and wants to know more about me, feel free to send those questions my way. I'll answer (mostly) anything and fun questions usually bring up fun stories. Bring 'em on. I'm THAT bored today...

Kisses,

Curlygirl

Bueller?

I should really stop looking at Facebook and Myspace. The amount of people, including ex-lovers, that are now engaged or "in a relationship" is a little bit nauseating. And slightly depressing. And makes me think I'm the only single person left on this earth.

Anyone else feeling this way? Anyone?

Bueller?

P.S.- However, since it is spring, it is now officially Break-Up season. I know of 3 couples thus far that have called it quits. I think most people like being single during the summertime. There's more BBQs going on which means two things... drinking during the daytime and hooking-up. I'm pretty good at the drinking during the day part, but I can't usually make it to the last part 'cause I'm usually past out by 6pm. Good times indeed.

An Early Birthday Wish

Summertime's coming. We all know what that means: Baby Brother's Girlfriend is probably going to be around more.

Now here's the thing: they've been dating for over 2 years now while in college (long-distance, what a waste) and I still don't even feel like I know this girl. Seriously. She's so freaking quiet and distant towards me and the rest of my family, that I'm worried that if they get married (p.s- never mention "marriage" "Baby Brother" and "Baby Brother's Girlfriend" around my mother), there's going to be a rift between our family 'cause she doesn't make an effort to get to know us. 

So my (extremely) early birthday wish this year is for the following to happen:

1. Baby Brother's Girlfriend changes her attitude and becomes a girl that my family would love to have hang around the house.

OR

2. Baby Brother gets a new girlfriend. Someone I can be friends with, go shopping with, feel like I can talk to. She would be perky, outgoing, smart, and tall! For crying out loud Baby Brother! You keep picking these petite girls under 5'1" and you're 6'4"!!! Think about the family genes!

In essence, I would rather have option 2 happen. I mean, really... isn't always about me anyways?